The following journal entries are from January 2024
These are the last journal entries I made before the shit begins to hit the fan in February 2024
2 weeks to the day from the entry I made on January 23, 2024
On February 6, 2024 my Narcissistic Abusive Ex Husband would enlist my EX BFF, the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist to “help” him “help” me – and call the Local Police Department to our home
My Narcissistic Abusive Ex Husband would call my EX BFF, the Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and LIE TO HER – and tell her that I was threatening to hurt myself so that she would call the Police to our home so that my Ex Husband wouldn’t have to place the call himself and get his hands dirty
The event on this day, February 6, 2024 – would set off a chain reaction of ABUSE that has lasted over one year and still exists today
My Narcissistic Abusive Ex Husband would utilize the MEDICAL SYSTEM, THE FAMILY COURT SYSTEM, THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM, and THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT to completely ruin my life, ruin my relationship with my Mother, and attempt to ruin my reputation in my home town and make himself the victim – something he continues to do to this day
I would not make another journal entry again until February 18, 2024
I discuss these entries in detail in this week’s episodes – Season 1 Episode 14 of Midlife Misery, the Journals – A Podcast and Supporter’s Club Ep #3
These journal entries reflect the dichotomy of my situation
To the outside world, I was presenting as positive and hopeful, but inside, I could feel that MANY THINGS WERE TERRIBLY WRONG
I could feel that MY LIFE WAS IN DANGER AND SOMETHING HORRIBLE WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN TO ME – MY NARCISSISTIC ABUSIVE EX HUSBAND WAS TRYING TO KILL ME AND HE WOULD TAKE HIS FINAL SHOT IN AN EMERGENCY ROOM ON February 13, 2024.
In a few weeks I will get to that part of my story, for now, I’m going to let these entries speak for themselves along with this week’s Podcast Episodes
Be Careful Who You Trust With Your Life – It Might Cost You Exactly That – Thank you for reading XOXO – Launa
January 15, 2024
I received emails from ppl willing to talk about my Dad with me – It’s huge it gives me a direction a way to sort through all the “stuff”
I’m finally taking the bandage off a 40 year old only the bandage didn’t heal any of it – it preserved it quite well – its still ooozy and full of puss and gross and scary and painful but the bandage helped to keep it from interfering with my life too much or so much so that I couldn’t manage – Now I can work on and focus on actually healing the wound the bandage has preserved for me
Grateful For
1- AFD
2 – dogs
3 – life
4 – communication from my dad’s colleagues
5 – my future
Plans today
– Respond to 1 email
– errands
– finding joy and happiness in the small
Resentment
“Adults” – who have failed me over and over again in life
Watch out for
– negativity – nagging
– people with ulterior motives
Strive for
– Love and Harmony
January 17, 2024
Grateful
1 – for new beginnings
2 – for new apartment
3 – for new approach to same goal
4 – DAD
5 – AFD & Dogs
Plans Today
– Email at least 2 more people back about Dad
– Send unemployment paperwork
– Grocery Store
– Enjoy the Day
Resentment
– City of XX Beach for being such shit
Watch out for
– Negativity – my own & from others
January 23, 2024
Intuition / Intuitive
Between my Mother and Father I never had a chance
Old colleagues describe my father as intuitive – My Mother felt my Father was being dishonest – she searched and found the answer – Stepmom – the affair
Her name is the opposite of what she represents
There is no Bliss for our family anymore after her arrival
Intuition – its seems bot of my parents have passed that onto me – CURSE
He was always so Quiet and Pensive – when was he?
My Mom felt it – the distance the untruth – her baby was being taken from her used as a decoy too young to understand the Blond Woman in front of her is NOT HER MOTHER
Its the other one – the Bliss their
What a wicked way to treat the girls that love you DAD!
Dragging me along at a young age only exaggerated the ability in your Daughter – I could have never NOT KNOWN – when someone was cheating on me – I always knew for certain – my intuition did not let me down – or did it?
