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My Journal Entries begin in November 2022 when I had a “breakdown” of sorts. At 44 years old none of the coping methods I had been using my entire life were working anymore. It made working at my job close to impossible. So I, with encouragement from my (now estranged) spouse, decided to take a break from my job to work on ME.

At the time I considered myself “fortunate” to have such a compassionate, supportive, and understanding spouse. I never could have imagined, how that decision, would turn my life upside down. It would reveal the Monster behind the masked person, the kind, understanding, compassionate PARTNER IN LIFE I thought I had married.

I never imagined this person, whom I trusted with my life, would create the most tumultuous, trauma filled, gaslit events of my life.

I say this over and over – BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TRUST WITH YOUR LIFE – IT MIGHT COST YOU EXACTLY THAT

These journal entries capture the rabbit hole of deceit, duplicity, danger, and betrayal, that would lead to the breaking up of my entire world and dissolution of my marriage, in real time through the months and years.

I’m sharing my journal entries to try and make sense of “what happened!?!?!?” – a question I still ask myself daily.

I’m also sharing in hopes that I can help heal myself and get to the “other side” of the dumpster fire that continues to rage.

Perhaps, if there is anyone out there going through something similar or that has gone through something similar, I can feel better knowing that I will get through this.

Perhaps, once I get to the proverbial “other side”, anyone else out there that is still in the “middle of the picture” watching their dumpster fire rage and burn out of control, will know that there is another side.

I guess I’ll just have to be patient, like everyone keeps telling me I need to be.

Thank You for reading, it truly means the world to me.

XOXO – Launa